*****

Quotes are only modified for context. Such modifications are in {}.

I can echo with firm conviction several of the points that were made:

I believe God created me with a purpose in mind -a role to play in His kingdom- and at least part of that role requires me to be {bisexual}.

God is calling me to something outside myself. I have always chosen the easy, comfortable route in my life. I've been a "cultural Christian." Think Laodicea. I hope that those days are coming to an end.

The flip side of this is that if I wander out of my comfort zone, by extension, I drag my family with me. This is part of the reason that I am posting here, instead of my personal blog.

The idea of being {bisexual} scared me. I didn’t want to be different, or all of a sudden have to care about a certain group of people, or find answers to a set of difficult questions. I didn’t want to put at risk my comfortable place in my church, my family, and in my circle of Christian friends. And yet none of that is about honoring Christ. That’s about being afraid, and Jesus says that His perfect love casts out all fear. Why then should I be capitulating to those fears in my life?
. . . [capitulating to those fears] wasn’t leading me in the direction of increased Christlikeness.

What I believe God is showing me is that the vast majority of my walk with Him (or lack thereof) I have chosen the path of least resistance. (Part of that has come from the charismatic/prosperity idea that God wouldn't call us to do anything that does not spring from our own desires. "Go where the peace is" doesn't necessarily mean "go where you're most likely to be happy." But that's a whole 'nother post.)

If God hadn't allowed me to become aware of and embrace my bisexual orientation, would I have started learning or caring about the gay community? Would I or my wife have ever even given them more than a passing thought, other than the pro forma "hate the sin, love the sinner" mantra that we believers tend to spout without any intention of walking out that love?

This is also forcing me/us to face some very difficult questions. There haven't been this many pieces of my belief system - values, whatever you'd like to call it - in play since, probably, I was first exposed to the Gospel. And yet, I know that God will ultimately lead me to His Truth - embodied in a closer, more honoring walk with Christ.

This leads directly to the elephant in the middle of our living room: the idea of me coming out to our parents and families, our friends, etc. We're both afraid, I believe, of how they might react, what they might think. The reason I say "both" is because I realize that if I come out publicly, then, in a sense, so is she. The reaction of family and friends will affect not just me, but her and the kids (who don't know yet) as well. For this reason, I don't want to make this very big step until we are in agreement.

I believe that the overriding question is, "how can we most honor Christ in our lives?" He said to love Him with all our hearts, and to love our neighbors as ourselves. If I love someone, I am going to be honest with them. I believe that God is calling us to (in our little corner of the world) help to heal some of the rifts between GLBT folks and (sometimes well-intentioned) Christians.

On the one hand, how can I encourage someone to be open and honest about himself with other believers if I don't have the courage to be open and honest myself? If my secret ever got out, I would appear to be a hypocrite in their eyes, at the very least.

On the other hand, how can I encourage believers who have never in their lives known a gay, lesbian or bisexual person, if I can't be an open example of someone who loves and follows the Lord, even while having a bisexual orientation? If GLBT folks remain an abstract idea, as opposed to a concrete, living, warm-blooded human example, there will be no change. In the same way, if Christians remain an abstract idea to GLBTs, change will not happen there, either.

Yes, there is risk involved. We may lose friends, or some of our families may distance themselves from us. Jesus said, "I have come to turn 'a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law - a man's enemies will be the members of his own household.' Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me." Matt 10:35-37

Those are hard words. I don't like risk more than anyone else, but I believe that God is calling us to a more radical, risk-taking walk with Him. That trumps everything, even rejection of us (including the kids) by those around us. Imagine if we lived in China, where believers risk being tossed in a prison or outright murdered on the spot by the State for just having a home church group meeting. Ultimately, what is rejection by "friends" compared to that, or to the rejection that Christ Himself suffered?

We have been truly blessed by God in our lives, in so many ways. I am reminded though, that "to whom much is given, much is required."

These are my thoughts, and generally outline what my wife and I have been tentatively feeling our way through for these last few weeks. I love her even more now than before; I am so blessed to have her as my wife. She and I are committed to each other for life, and she knows that I will remain faithful, but she is having to process an awful lot right now in addition to her normal hectic life. And she hates change.

I would ask that anyone reading this would pray that the Lord would open her heart to this "new thing" that He is doing, and give us both wisdom in our decision-making in this area.